IM Chat  

papis_baby_girl 42F  
2475 posts
2/1/2018 5:59 pm
IM Chat


so...
I'm opening myself up to new experiences... and one of those experiences is being present in chat...

big mistake I know, but I'll bite the bullet.

look... long story short...

if you cannot engage me in conversation then don't bother...

I can't tell you how many times I reciprocate to an initial chat only to hear crickets...

My most fave 'opening line' is when a guy steps to me and asks me 'how goes my luck here'...

well I usually respond, 'it depends on what you consider success'...
not too threatening right?

well I guess it is since I never get a response...

I get it... most are very vapid on this site...

men are looking for "I want to fuck you too like in 10 minutes so come over" in response to 'hi' or 'how are you' or 'are you at work' or 'yo' or whatever non-interesting, nonthought provoking opening line.

yeah... not gonna get that with me...

Just a warning...

and now that I said what I said, I'll probably be barraged by a ton of IM messages (yeah right)

Come on now... let's chat... who knows... you might get lucky (but probably not)

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 6:02 pm

sit down... grab some coffee...let's talk...
[image]

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


markster115 40M
95 posts
2/1/2018 6:09 pm

Come on now PBG, this is a sex site. This is no place to discuss solving world problems.
Us guys want to engage in naughty chat or even better 'Yes' to all of the questions we pose.
Good luck on IM.


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 6:12 pm

    Quoting markster115:
    Come on now PBG, this is a sex site. This is no place to discuss solving world problems.
    Us guys want to engage in naughty chat or even better 'Yes' to all of the questions we pose.
    Good luck on IM.
I know...but it's a great way to weed out unwanteds.
I like to be challenged. Gets me hot.

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


oraloral24 56M  
5 posts
2/1/2018 6:16 pm

There are a lot of guys who do what you say, but there are a few out there who will actually converse, at least for a while


s2ndegree 59M  
7425 posts
2/1/2018 6:25 pm

It's one thing to know all the cornball questions the members of a site of this nature will most likely will ask.The hardest part is engaging with a complete stranger sex site or not.

Using more than all the road!


redrockrascal 59M
16295 posts
2/1/2018 6:32 pm

IF (kinda big if) I go on IM 'how goes your luck here' is a variant on something I ask if the woman's profile doesn't have much to go on. My versions is essentially 'Are you finding what you're looking for here?' Most non-rude answers I get are something that can start a conversation.

My answer to your response 'it depends on what you consider success' would be meeting someone.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


BiggLala 45F  
20294 posts
2/1/2018 6:40 pm

I challenge you to bite another bullet...message a guy first. I double dog dare you. 😎

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.
Need a way to message ALL members?...click the following link for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post: Build your own Private Postbox Receive Readable Messages and Reply.


ClassicFriction 56M
634 posts
2/1/2018 6:58 pm

I experience the same thing, only in reverse. Most of the women I've engaged
have nothing of substance to say either, other than the usual throwaway lines.
This includes the women who have initiated contact with me.


69BootyLover 38M
13 posts
2/1/2018 7:14 pm

Part of the reason they may not reply is because the IM doesn’t go through. Your IM will get delivered, but when he tries to reply it doesn’t go through, it’s typed and sitting there, but doesn’t ever say delivered and definitely not “read”. Overcoming the obstacles to a really clunky IM is challenging! I prefer to go to k1k right away because it’s reliable!


12FK2 44F  
159 posts
2/1/2018 7:51 pm

Technology problems aside with the IM, it's really common to get the contact and then crickets. I get the impression from some men that they think you are horny just because you are on IM. Sorry, did I say horny, I meant HORNY.

Some also seem to expect your response to "hi", "what you doin?' or "having any fun tonight?" ...to be, Yes! I've been waiting for someone to say HI and you did! Let's fuck tonight, gimme the address!

They are wrong about that. They are ALWAYS wrong.

My other favorite guy is the one who keeps sending you IMs and when you finally do respond, they have nothing to say. Why were they blowing up my IM so desperately, just to waste my time with zero conversation?!


bard1155 35M  
3 posts
2/1/2018 8:06 pm

It can also be intimidating to initiate conversation on IM. It always seems like it might be considered rude to even say "Hello" to get a conversation going because of how many other guys seem to have raced to the "Let's bang" on their first one or two lines.

Then again, overly polite and considerate is probably a good deal of a problem in itself


Willing000013 50M
39 posts
2/1/2018 8:30 pm

Be open to new things.


ImThatGuy218 36M
4 posts
2/1/2018 8:36 pm

Im never works anyway


japaneseass 50F  
44017 posts
2/1/2018 9:16 pm

i even initiated my conversation from my side...and i hear crickets??? i am not even sure, if the thing is working...makes me wonder...ya know...


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 9:54 pm

    Quoting bard1155:
    It can also be intimidating to initiate conversation on IM. It always seems like it might be considered rude to even say "Hello" to get a conversation going because of how many other guys seem to have raced to the "Let's bang" on their first one or two lines.

    Then again, overly polite and considerate is probably a good deal of a problem in itself
if you're intimidated on a website, where for the most part you are anonymous, what happens in real life?

Just sit by your lonesome on a bar stool?

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 9:55 pm

    Quoting japaneseass:
    i even initiated my conversation from my side...and i hear crickets??? i am not even sure, if the thing is working...makes me wonder...ya know...
must be broken...what guy would ignore you?

humna humna humna

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 9:57 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    I challenge you to bite another bullet...message a guy first. I double dog dare you. 😎
oh sister...did you just throw down the gauntlet?

well I will take you up on that...

maybe

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 10:01 pm

    Quoting ClassicFriction:
    I experience the same thing, only in reverse. Most of the women I've engaged
    have nothing of substance to say either, other than the usual throwaway lines.
    This includes the women who have initiated contact with me.
well hello there

yeah...it's a shame that both sexes live up to the stereotype of being on this site...

thanks for commenting and come back again

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 10:02 pm

    Quoting 69BootyLover:
    Part of the reason they may not reply is because the IM doesn’t go through. Your IM will get delivered, but when he tries to reply it doesn’t go through, it’s typed and sitting there, but doesn’t ever say delivered and definitely not “read”. Overcoming the obstacles to a really clunky IM is challenging! I prefer to go to k1k right away because it’s reliable!
yeah... I don't know about that... I think people like to 'hang their hat on that' because it makes them feel better about being ignored...

but you never know.

thanks for your comment!

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 10:05 pm

    Quoting 12FK2:
    Technology problems aside with the IM, it's really common to get the contact and then crickets. I get the impression from some men that they think you are horny just because you are on IM. Sorry, did I say horny, I meant HORNY.

    Some also seem to expect your response to "hi", "what you doin?' or "having any fun tonight?" ...to be, Yes! I've been waiting for someone to say HI and you did! Let's fuck tonight, gimme the address!

    They are wrong about that. They are ALWAYS wrong.

    My other favorite guy is the one who keeps sending you IMs and when you finally do respond, they have nothing to say. Why were they blowing up my IM so desperately, just to waste my time with zero conversation?!
OH sister how right you are...

I even expect 'banter' in real life so it's not just because I'm here that I use it as a weeding out tool.

Come on now... I'm not here to discuss the theory of relativity, but you gonna have some convo game.

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 10:07 pm

well... I just said I was...

might want to re-read the second sentence...

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/1/2018 10:08 pm

    Quoting oraloral24:
    There are a lot of guys who do what you say, but there are a few out there who will actually converse, at least for a while
oraloral... is that because you talk a mean game? or is it the obvious reason?
Hopefully both

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


sleepylessinsd 36M  
15 posts
2/1/2018 11:26 pm

The IM feature on here is also very glitchy which could be the reason you hear crickets sometimes. Not all messages go thru on both ends unfortunately


hypnopleasure2 60M
4 posts
2/2/2018 12:00 am

I am a communicator by nature and profession so can only assume you are interacting with the wrong people. I dont agree with the people saying this is a sex site blah blah.... in my humlbe opinion the wham bam thank you mam people are missing out on huge amounts of pleasure that comes with true intimacy which actually involves getting to know someone enough to know what REALLY turns them on

My take on it for what its worth


traveljunkie13 50F  
10187 posts
2/2/2018 5:08 am

Most Americans have no game. Both men and women. We just don't know how to chat up the opposite sex anymore. Hell we don't know how to chat up people waiting in line with us

Add in the pressure of this being a sex site and guys come here thinking the women here are all open to fucking anyone at anytime and well...guys get a little (ok a LOT) stupid. I really do wish more men realized how much women enjoy having a good, mentally stimulating conversation because it would mean all of us would be getting laid a whole lot more often


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/2/2018 6:46 am

    Quoting traveljunkie13:
    Most Americans have no game. Both men and women. We just don't know how to chat up the opposite sex anymore. Hell we don't know how to chat up people waiting in line with us

    Add in the pressure of this being a sex site and guys come here thinking the women here are all open to fucking anyone at anytime and well...guys get a little (ok a LOT) stupid. I really do wish more men realized how much women enjoy having a good, mentally stimulating conversation because it would mean all of us would be getting laid a whole lot more often
you are sooo on point!

the other day I was at the market and tried to strike up a 'non-threatening' conversation with the person in front of me... I got looked at like I was crazy...

but on a positive note, when I was recycling, I actually had a nice and funny and satisfying conversation with two, yes two, young men (not my type or would have been all up on that) and it was so much fun... surprised me since they were around 20 and were actually engaged... no phones present.

I'm a talker by nature... I love great witty banter...it's hard to find that most places not just here. One thing that drives me crazy is me having to carry the whole convo...quick way for me to disconnect and go quiet for sure.

it's sad that we as a society are losing that. Soon all of our conversing will happen via text... and that's even a stretch... lol

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/2/2018 6:53 am

    Quoting hypnopleasure2:
    I am a communicator by nature and profession so can only assume you are interacting with the wrong people. I dont agree with the people saying this is a sex site blah blah.... in my humlbe opinion the wham bam thank you mam people are missing out on huge amounts of pleasure that comes with true intimacy which actually involves getting to know someone enough to know what REALLY turns them on

    My take on it for what its worth
well... I know I'm on the wrong site since I feel my profile and pics depict a classy, smart, funny gal and not someone here for a quick hook-up.

I know I know... you gotta kiss a lot of frogs... and I'm not even looking for my prince...lol

Is it so wrong to want to be able to communicate a bit before surrendering my body... and by communicating I don't mean a few grunts a la caveman...
gosh... are we reverting back?

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


BiggLala 45F  
20294 posts
2/2/2018 6:58 am

    Quoting papis_baby_girl:
    oh sister...did you just throw down the gauntlet?

    well I will take you up on that...

    maybe
Yes, I threw down the gauntlet. It's one thing to be present on IM. It's another thing to be active on IM. A male friend I used to know likened it to some women being a Venus flytrap in dating...just waiting around for a fly to buzz by. I think he had a somewhat valid point. Granted, some women have the luxury of having all sorts of flies buzzing around her seeking her attention.

At some point, we all need to change our tactics. Yes, I include myself in 'we'. I don't initiate contact anymore partly due my current personal circumstances which don't give me the opportunity to contribute to a good situation, but I don't complain either...well, I try not to, lol. It boils down to: if our shit ain't working, we need to change our shit.

Just something to think about.

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.
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wickedeasy 68F  
30897 posts
2/4/2018 12:31 pm

    Quoting BiggLala:
    I challenge you to bite another bullet...message a guy first. I double dog dare you. 😎
have you done that? i never have

You cannot conceive the many without the one.


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/4/2018 2:06 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    have you done that? i never have
not yet... yikes...

but I'm old skool sister...

In my experience, men SAY they want a confident, self-assured, self-sufficient woman...
but reality... yeah... not so much

I do realize that I've got to go for what I want...

I'm gonna do it...
will you join me in doing it??

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


BiggLala 45F  
20294 posts
2/4/2018 4:55 pm

    Quoting wickedeasy:
    have you done that? i never have
Yes, I've done it, several times. I would often initiate contact with guys when I first joined. I stopped though because guys ignore messages to. The few that responded just let the conversation fizzle out, they didn't really state they weren't interested. Funny isn't it.

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.
Need a way to message ALL members?...click the following link for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post: Build your own Private Postbox Receive Readable Messages and Reply.


Januaryman99 49M  
75 posts
2/6/2018 11:51 am

Next time I see you on IM I'll look forward to giving it a whirl. I'ma practice first in the mirror. Fear of public shaming, and all. Maybe start with favorite colors and then ease into the weather or something.

Fair warning. I'm on a losing streak. I got a text this morning from a younger woman who said she was "looking for a daddy". I was absolutely stumped.


12FK2 44F  
159 posts
2/6/2018 3:21 pm

    Quoting Januaryman99:
    Next time I see you on IM I'll look forward to giving it a whirl. I'ma practice first in the mirror. Fear of public shaming, and all. Maybe start with favorite colors and then ease into the weather or something.

    Fair warning. I'm on a losing streak. I got a text this morning from a younger woman who said she was "looking for a daddy". I was absolutely stumped.
Lol, your comment made me smile.


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/6/2018 7:36 pm

    Quoting 12FK2:
    Lol, your comment made me smile.
ooohhhh...nice...

12FK2 allow me to introduce Januaryman99...

maybe you two should chat on IM

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/6/2018 7:37 pm

    Quoting Januaryman99:
    Next time I see you on IM I'll look forward to giving it a whirl. I'ma practice first in the mirror. Fear of public shaming, and all. Maybe start with favorite colors and then ease into the weather or something.

    Fair warning. I'm on a losing streak. I got a text this morning from a younger woman who said she was "looking for a daddy". I was absolutely stumped.
Januaryman99 allow me to introduce 12FK2... she liked your comment

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


Januaryman99 49M  
75 posts
2/6/2018 9:07 pm

    Quoting papis_baby_girl:
    ooohhhh...nice...

    12FK2 allow me to introduce Januaryman99...

    maybe you two should chat on IM
Whoah, whoah, whooooah. . . . suddenly this has become a lot of work.

Kidding, of course. Great meeting you, 12FK2.


BiggLala 45F  
20294 posts
2/9/2018 12:57 pm

    Quoting Januaryman99:
    Whoah, whoah, whooooah. . . . suddenly this has become a lot of work.

    Kidding, of course. Great meeting you, 12FK2.
Why did that crack me up so much?!?! 😂😂😂
You know you were only HALF kidding and was like, 'Wait a minute, what??? I just came here to comment and now I'm getting fixed up?!?! 😳'

Explore The Lalaverse and appreciate the beautiful mess that I am.
Need a way to message ALL members?...click the following link for helpful instructions in setting up a private messaging blog post: Build your own Private Postbox Receive Readable Messages and Reply.


boobsman07 45M
119 posts
2/11/2018 9:29 am

do you want to be super busy on IM? turn ON your camera


etipok18 45M
29 posts
2/12/2018 1:13 am

I suppose it also depends on what kind of mood you're in when you log on to IM. If some guy opens the chat with:

"hi, how you doing ? I've got an 8 inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears "

Now, if you had logged on feeling particularly frisky then you may find this opening line quite amusing, but if you're in more serious mode, then your initial thought might be...." oh grow up! "


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/12/2018 3:54 pm

    Quoting etipok18:
    I suppose it also depends on what kind of mood you're in when you log on to IM. If some guy opens the chat with:

    "hi, how you doing ? I've got an 8 inch tongue and I can breathe through my ears "

    Now, if you had logged on feeling particularly frisky then you may find this opening line quite amusing, but if you're in more serious mode, then your initial thought might be...." oh grow up! "
you are so right...

and it depends on how many glasses of wine I had/ am having...

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


papis_baby_girl 42F  
3290 posts
2/12/2018 3:55 pm

    Quoting boobsman07:
    do you want to be super busy on IM? turn ON your camera
lolol

oh hells no!

I'd really be on a rant then!!

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


etipok18 45M
29 posts
2/12/2018 7:58 pm

    Quoting papis_baby_girl:
    you are so right...

    and it depends on how many glasses of wine I had/ am having...
...red wine I hope


cockstar2016 40M
8 posts
2/13/2018 1:31 pm

IM sucks at best


lakegirlxxx 37F
19 posts
2/14/2018 9:17 am

I like the real thing


Johnybluu 42M
5 posts
2/15/2018 10:32 am

Sometimes if you're on the instant messenger it just doesn't send the message. A friend of mine and I have actually tried sending messages to one another sitting right next to each other and we don't get any of them. But she will get messages from everybody else. But when she sends her a reply they probably don't get it. It's the site and they just manipulate us and send messages to who we want to send them to when they want to send them.


Johnybluu 42M
5 posts
2/15/2018 10:33 am

Is just the way this website works. Some messages go through some don't sometimes one message will go through your reply and that person will never get that message. It's just the way it works. We've done trial and error with a friend of mine. She'll send me one I'll send one back she won't get it. It's just the way this website works they don't put enough money into it for it to work the way it should.


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