Beginning Again
 
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Begininning again
Posted:Aug 14, 2018 6:12 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2018 3:48 am
8822 Views

Have a little bit of time away from helping kids sort through their myriad of life drama, so I thought I'd get working on the blog.
A old friend of mine, from this site asked where my blog was. Told them it was deleted along with my old profile and she immediately chastised for not getting it back up. There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm going to let it pass. Anyways, it seems I'm susceptible to goading, so here we go.

I have played the guitar and sang for god knows how many years. I was sure I was going to be a rock star in high school/college, but I'll let you guess how that turned out.

Since then, it's been hit and miss. I'll put the guitar down for a couple of years at a time, which is surprising if you've seen my bedroom. haha Only a chosen few will understand that line. Then i pick it up again and learn some new stuff and hopefully write some new songs. I'll start off with a song i wrote a few years back about a recurring dream. And a newer one. I'll try to remember to update it, but to be honest, I can go years with writing nothing, then spit out 15 songs in a month.

BTW. All the lyrics I post have been copyrighted.
8 Comments
Take me as I am
Posted:Aug 14, 2018 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2018 6:02 pm
8754 Views

Ok, this one is more about relationships over the last 5 years. very honest about my thoughts that I really don't think I want to get married again. Been divorced for quite a while. Yet it always seems that, though I make that point up front. And it's agreed upon, most have ended up with me being the bad guy, who doesn't want to get married. I don't mind being a bad boy, but i hate being the bad guy.

Verse
You ask me who I want to be,
always just the man you see.
It's been so long since I tore down those walls.
Been here once or twice my friend,
Never like the way it ends.
When smiles turn into tears and the world seems to fall.
Watch it fall.

Chorus
It's really not that hard to just take me as I am,
You tell me what you need to live,
It's just the one thing I can't give.
And I don't want to be the one who makes you cry.
So if you have to leave, I understand.
It's a shame you couldn't take me as I am.

Verse
I'd love to see you one more night,
I know that won't make it right,
But i really hate to see us end like this.
You never had to suffer lies,
my heart was never in disguise.
So if you have to leave, why can't it be with a kiss.
Oh my friend.

Chorus
It's really not that hard to just take me as I am,
You tell me what you need to live,
It's just the one thing I can't give.
And I don't want to be the one who makes you cry.
So if you have to leave, I understand.
It's a shame you couldn't take me as I am.

Instrumental, then
Repeat Chorus with

It's a shame you couldn't take me as I am.
Why couldn't you just take me as I am.
1 comment
Back Home
Posted:Sep 25, 2018 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2018 11:18 am
6886 Views

Well this was a fun find. Going through some old memory stuff last night, looking for a letter. I found part of a song. Reading through it, i was dumbfounded. This is the very first song I wrote! I was 17 at the time, and reading it was thinking, "Damn, I was a moody little bastard".

Doesn't have the second verse, and for the life of me, I can't remember it. What was funny, I picked up a guitar, and within 5 minutes was playing it. Can't believe I remember the melody. Half the time I can't remember songs I wrote last year. I'm still trying to figure out what a 17 year old was thinking were the good old days.

Back Home.

We live on dreams while we're young,
Try to turn ourselves into someone.
But the things we do,
Can't erase the things that we've done.

So we leave our homes to try and find,
A better world then we left behind.
But we find that,
Happiness is just a frame of mind.

Chorus.
But don't you try to find your way,
Back Home.
Back to all those good old days that have gone.
Live your life one day at a time,
Remembering nothing can be done.
About all those good old days that have gone.
21 Comments
Well, generally speaking......
Posted:Nov 13, 2018 1:03 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2018 6:42 pm
293 Views

Well, I think we can all rest a little easier tonight. One of the age old questions of the universe has just been answered, by a think tank at Cambridge University. Wait for it.....Women and Men are different in the way they think.

Holy Hell! I knew something was up!

The lines that got me were , first.."Scientists claim to have discovered what sets men and women apart". Really, after all these years, they just discovered. Apparently the author of the article wasn't all that sure they were right, cause he did have to throw in a "claim to have discovered". Maybe it's really not answered after all.

And second, " men will be more interested by systems, while women will have higher degrees of emotional intelligence – the so-called empathizing-systemizing theory of sex differences." I'm not even sure I know what that means, and will have to research it, I'm sure.

But it makes me think immediately of something I notice from time to time. Too many times, we "generalize" people. In regards to this study, does that mean that all women run only on emotion? I don't think so.I've known quite a few women that I've considered "non-emotional". Are all men conversely, non emotional, and only run on logic? Again, I'd have to say absolutely not. I know lots of guys that don't seem to follow even the simplest of logic.

It's the problem with generalization, in my opinion. All women are not alike, and neither are all men. For that matter, all people aren't like all people. We all think, process and act just a little different. Ok..sometimes a lot differently. It's sorta what makes it interesting, doesn't it? Trying to do a study between the differences between the genders, as been overdone ever since the "Men are from Mars", days. LOL Just my opinion, of course. But it all just seems to be generalization.

I see it during everyday conversations. I see it on here. Would it be generalization, on my part, if I said, "It's generally everywhere, and usually not all that accurate".

On here, I could say, not all men are horn dogs, and unable to communicate beyond a "me horny" vernacular. There may be a lot of them that fit that statement, but there's many that don't. I see some very articulate and well written guys on here.

It happens with the dick pics. Not all men send them out like they're waving a flag at a parade. Not all women like, or dislike taking a peek at the said flag. This one gets beaten to death like a red headed step mule.

But in the end, aren't they just really generalizations and if I might add, not inclusive of the entire gender?

I like to think I keep a pretty open mind, and try not to color anyone into a certain box. I think, that if I were to do a study, it would be on the fallacy of generalizations. Especially where humans are concerned. My study would prove that sure, men are different than women. I'd even throw in the wonderful literary gem, from Kindergarten Cop. "Boys Have A Penis, Girls Have a Vagina". I know, I know. Brilliant right? I wonder how much funding I could get for a study on this mental epiphany.

I'd say that all people are different, and it goes way beyond gender. But that's a wonderful thing. At the very least, it keeps life interesting. But that might just be a generalization on my part.

Do you find yourself generalizing? Do you think you fit the male/female templates? I don't really think I do, but maybe that's just me. Like I said on my profile, the thought of fitting in actually makes me cringe.
41 Comments
Are you blushing?
Posted:Nov 12, 2018 12:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 13, 2018 5:04 am
377 Views

Out at work today, my daughter texted me, as she is prone to do. She had started her period and realized she didn't have enough tampons and liners. So of course, I stopped by the grocery store to pick some up for her.

At the register checking out, a young lady cashier makes a comment about how great it is that I'm not embarrassed to buy feminine products for my wife. I told her, they were for my daughter and said I never understood why it embarrasses some guys. A lady, in line behind me, says her husband refuses to buy feminine products. I just shook my head and said I thought it was a silly thing to be embarrassed about.

I guess most people have things that embarrass them. Though I've never understood this one. It's just a natural thing, that really isn't a secret. Once a month or so, women bleed. And they use feminine products. If you're married, attached or have teenage daughters, trust me, everyone knows they have periods.

It takes a lot to embarrass me. It must, because for the life of me I can't think of anything that makes me blush.

I made the mistake, of diving off a cliff at a nearby lake, in gym shorts. Those babies swooshed right off me in a instant. And being sorta murky, I couldn't find them. So, I swam up to shore and hollered up at my friends to throw me down a towel. A girl that was there, said something to the effect of how embarrassing that was. I asked, was it?

I've had people walk in on me while I was in the restroom. Hell, I've walked into other people using the restroom. Just no big deal to me. Say, sorry and close the door.

I thought this would be a good place to ask if people get embarrassed easily. I mean, certainly there are plenty of people who don't get embarrassed if someone see's them naked. But I wonder if there's others that do? Or if there are other things in life that embarrass you.

It's sorta funny, because I feel bad when I see someone embarrassed. Like if they trip, or spill a drink at a bar. I always try to help them laugh it off. But I really can't remember the last time I felt embarrassed. Maybe I'm just used to laughing at some of the things I do.
34 Comments
It's National Gumbo Day?
Posted:Nov 10, 2018 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2018 7:58 pm
537 Views
Ok...well maybe that's not true. I just wanted to sound as well informed and smart as the wonderful Pocogato. But since I pale in comparison to our "little kitty", let me just say it was Gumbo day at my house.

I love Seafood Gumbo and have spent years tweaking and mastering the dish. It started with a recipe and lesson I got from a girlfriends mom, during a stint I spent in Louisiana. She was a wonderful, friendly, Cajun lady, who made us dinner more than once. As she explained it to me, making great Gumbo is a lot like life.

If you don't fill your life with good stuff, it can never be as good as it should be. Try to fill it with poor choices and half ass stuff, and it's gonna turn out the same. So we only use the highest quality ingredients when making Gumbo. All organic fresh vegetables...better if they were grown in your garden.



Patience is needed. And the attention to the little details. Too many people rush through life. But life is not a race. It's a journey. When making Roux, you have to take your time and cook it to the right color. Has to reach that chocolate brown, or it's just not gumbo roux. Patience is needed to cook it slow, and steady. Never, ever stop stirring. If the house catches on fire, keep stirring and let the fireman just fight it around you. It takes a good 45 minutes. (hint, she said her mom used to cook a roux that took 4 hours or better). Damn.



Don't stop caring halfway through. Many people she told me, just give up half way through. Sorta like life. "I'm tired of this, just dump the okra in." Show some tenacity and stick with it...the okra needs to be cooked in a pan with a little oil. Till the "strings" are no longer there. If you just dump it in...you might as well never started in the first place.



Then learn to relax, and let life run it's course. Simmer it for a bit. Let it "rest" for two or three hours, before you finish it out with the seafood. She said, two many times we're so much in a hurry to get somewhere, we forget to notice the stuff that is all around us. Stop, relax and enjoy your journey.



Finally, you hit the conclusion. If you followed everything, exactly, you are rewarded with success and happiness. And in this case, fantastic Shrimp and Crab Gumbo.



I remember the girlfriend was a lot of fun and seemed so easy going. And this is when we were in our early 20's. But I'll never forget her mom. She was an intense lady, could be quick to anger, but if she liked you, you couldn't have a better friend. She was fun to be around and made me some great dinners. Jambalaya, Red Beans and Rice, great Boiled Crawfish, and of course, Seafood Gumbo. One of my all time favorites.
49 Comments
A Creature of Habit
Posted:Nov 9, 2018 12:43 pm
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2018 1:45 pm
648 Views

I think I could be classified as a creature of habit on some stuff. I don't mean in a sexual way. I mean, I guess you could say I always just have sex with women. So that's habitual. But variation is still exciting. But if we split hairs I would think we're all habitual to some extent.

I was talking to someone today about taking my daughter out to eat Sushi. She asked, didn't you just go eat sushi, a Friday or so ago? And of course we had. We both love Sushi, both love the Sushi Bar we go to. And I have a habit of taking my daughter out every Friday. She then responds with you should try something different, stop being such a creature of habit.

Well, first off, at my age I can't really say there's any types of food in San Antonio that I haven't tried. And I do ask my daughter, to decide what she wants to eat. Her choice? Sushi. Guess she's a creature of habit too.

There are some things, certainly stuck on. I have consumed the same coffee for over 20 . I like it, a medium roast with good body, but not very acidic. I have no plans to change it. Don't to try a bunch of others. I did that for , and it's how I found the one I like. Color me habitual.

I do tend to go to the exact same spot on the beach, every time, year after year. That ain't changing any time soon. Habitual.

I have "expanded" my horizons on wine lately. After realizing all I buy is Cabernet's and some Bordeaux's, I decided to shake that one up a bit. I've started letting the little wine steward pick some wines for me every week. She's at about a 90% success rate, and now, I guess I can say I've broken that habit.

I try to stay open minded on most stuff. Willing to try new things, new dishes, new ways of thinking. But with some stuff, a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it", kind of guy. I mean, it's been ok up to now, why change it. But apparently, some still think of me as a Creature of Habit.

Do you have anything that would make you a Creature of Habit? And don't say having sex, cause pretty sure most of us wouldn't mind that being a continual thing.
44 Comments
Of Human Bondage
Posted:Nov 8, 2018 12:38 pm
Last Updated:Nov 9, 2018 8:08 pm
747 Views

I pride myself as being a guy that does his thinking with the big head. And 99% of the time, it's really not that hard for me to do. There was one time though, that I'd thought I'd share, where I could have at least made a better decision. Wasn't a case of not thinking at all, just a poor decision in regards to "what could go wrong". This was the Spring after I got divorced, so around 14 years ago. Maybe I'll plead, "newly divorced, and sowing some pent up oats". Ok, never mind, we'll just stick with poor decisions.

I was at a weekend music festival in Austin. One of those where people would set up little "camps" during the off times. Sit around and party. I had my little camp set up and was sitting around playing guitar and singing with a few, "like minded" people. (threw that in there for BigLala)

A really nice looking, blonde lady comes up and sits down on the grass beside me. We talk a bit, drink a bit, she's listening as we jam. Then when we're taking a break she comes over and whispers in my ear, "I'd really like to have some private fun with you". We agree to go to her apartment. At this point, I had thought it out. Couldn't see any problems. So I packed up the guitar and lawn chairs, and followed her back to her apartment.

For the sake of brevity, lets just say we played around a bit. Little mental foreplay, some kissing and fondling, which led us to the bedroom. After about an hour of some really good sex, she asks the question. Have you ever been tied up? Knowing what I know now, I would have responded with something that showed a modicum of intelligence. But exercising every ounce of my poor decision making I say, "nope, but I'm open to try". /sigh

So she gets out some handcuffs, some rope, some scarves. She's obviously done this before, and I'm figuring I'm in good hands. LOL. She cuffs, ties and binds me to the bed spread eagle. I'm still in the moment thinking, ok, this could be fun. And it was for the next bit. She sucks on me, rides me. Hell, this is great!!!

Then the moment that is still etched in my mind. She gets up and says, I'll be right back, and leaves the room. I'm laying there, thinking that was fun, when I hear a door shut. I lay there for a few minutes, then call her name. Nothing. I call again, a bit louder. Nothing. It hits me like a ton of bricks, she just left. Oh shit!!

I can't say for sure how long I laid there, but it was at least two hours. I'm thinking of all the scenarios. Maybe she went to get a friend, we had discussed threesomes with her girlfriend. Wait, what if she comes back with a guy? What do I do if she doesn't come back today. I'm tied and handcuffed to a heavy frame , so I'm not breaking out of this one. It was not a fun couple of hours, let me tell you.

Finally, I hear the door again. She walks into the room. I'm checking, trust me, no one with her. She say's something to the effect of did I enjoy my alone time. Now here's where I finally start thinking with the big head again. I put on a smile and say something to the effect of , you had me a bit worried. Is that part of the game? She explains yes, I waffle around a bit. She talks some bondage stuff and gets around to liking to be top and bottom. So I convince her to let me go, and lets try it the other way.

She unties my legs, and gets the key for the handcuffs. I'm off the bed, like it was on fire.

Now free, I'm pissed. Somewhat at her, but mainly at myself for not thinking it through. There are all sorts of scenarios that had run through my mind. I didn't like any of them. So as I'm grabbing my clothes and getting dressed, she's trying to convince me to stay. I'm staying calm, but in no way dissuaded from my new plan of getting the hell out of there. She follows me to all the way to the front door and out onto the landing, asking what's wrong. LOL

I turned as I hit the stairs and said, parts where fun, but I've decided I really am not into bondage. Have a good one.

It was a good lesson, and was enough to get me back to thinking things through. Maybe, just maybe, I'll go the rest of my life without under thinking the situation.
46 Comments
HNW-Fall in South Texas
Posted:Nov 7, 2018 1:26 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2018 5:06 am
733 Views
This is what I expect Fall to be like. Hell, Winter too. On the beach this past Saturday.

37 Comments
#47- Early Childhood Memory's
Posted:Nov 7, 2018 12:51 pm
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2018 7:16 pm
692 Views

I'm blessed, and cursed. While I can't seem to remember names very well, and certainly have become speed dial dependent on phone , memories are etched into my mind. Good, bad, happy, sad. I can close my eyes, and watch the video of past memories, play across my mind like I'm watching a old movie.

In thinking about this months submission, I can't really picture in my head what my first memory is. They're not date stamped unfortunately, and I have always been sorta different in how I "process" time. So instead, I will share a place and time, where some of my fondest early memories are from.

From as early as I can remember, going to my Grandparents house was always something we got excited about. These were my mom's parents. Good old Czech people who epitomized the Bohemian attitudes of their culture. They lived on a small farm in between Weimer and La Grange, the house set in the middle of a cow pasture. Country people, who would help anyone. Who grew up poor, having to hunt and fish for their food. Who made damn near everything "homemade". Who's recipes and teachings have been passed down, for generations. I still make poppy seed Kolaches, from my great grandmothers recipe, mixed in the ceramic mixing bowl my Grandmother got as a wedding present. The two of them molded me into who I am, every bit as much as my parents did.

I close my eyes and can still picture the old house. A small 5 room house, if you count the bathroom and kitchen. No insulation, so it was always hot during the summers and cold during the winter. I remember sleeping on and under giant homemade feather beds, laid out on the floor. All eight of us cousins, of different ages, being hollered at continuously to settle down and go to sleep. Eventually, exhausted from the days activity, we would slowly quiet down and go to sleep. Only to wake up and start it all over again.

I can remember Grandpa and my Dad, taking us out in the early mornings to go hunting or fishing. Teaching us how to track and stalk, there was no such thing as hunting in a blind. We learned to observe everything around us. How the grass lay, how old the tracks we found were. How to look up into giant old Pecan trees, and see the entire picture. So you could notice the small movement that didn't belong. Bingo, another squirrel. They loved eating squirrel and rabbit. They taught me to shoot at such a young age, I honestly don't remember when I started, but it was before I was in school.

We learned to run trot lines, and throw lines to catch catfish. How to clean the fish, and of course how to cook it. I learned to swim, they tell me, when I fell into the Colorado river at age three. I had gotten too close to a small embankment, running like the crazy kid I was. By the time Dad got over to me, he said he just watched, because I was dog paddling to shore. I do remember my Mom being flabbergasted, he didn't jump in after me, when he told her about it. In later years, when the topic came up, he told me he would have but I was doing just fine on my own.

I haven't been hunting in many years, it's too cold usually for me and I can't say I ever developed a taste for squirrel. But I've never forgotten the skills. I still fish, but it's mainly salt water fishing these days. No trot lines, just a couple of rods and reels that my Grandpa would probably scoff at.

I remember chasing chickens in the chicken yard, and all of us getting a switching from Grandma for doing it. Seems we got a lot of those, but I also remember, we deserved them all. I remember getting chased by cows, because we got to close to the calves. I remember playing football in the pasture. Taking long walks in the dark with all of us cousins and my Dad, down the sandy loam stretches they called roads. Catching fireflys and putting them into jars. Bar-b-ques that would go on all day. Dances that would go on till late in the night. I remember swimming in the creek. I remember the sky at night, filled with stars, like I never see anymore. Like you could reach out and touch them.

I remember crying, as a young teen pallbearer, at my Grandpa's funeral. I remember, feeling devastated, when my Grandma passed away with me holding her hand, almost twenty years later.

I'll never forget those early memory's . I'll always remember the lessons they both taught me. Sure the tangibles were helpful, but the intangibles are what stands out in my memories of them and that place. How to be a man, how to treat others. How to be happy with what you have, and how to laugh at every opportunity.

Life and my cavalier outlook on it at a young adult, taught me a lot. But the memory's of that time and place,did the most to make me into the man I am today. All my love Grandpa and Grandma. All my love.
25 Comments
Come here often?
Posted:Nov 6, 2018 1:05 pm
Last Updated:Nov 10, 2018 5:47 am
875 Views

This profile of mine is relatively new. About one and a half years old. My first profile had a name that contained my age when I was a younger man..so I didn't think it was fitting. Didn't feel like paying to have the name change..and hell, I'd been gone for over a year. So I made this one. Anyways, been on and off the site, for about 7 years or so. At 96, I can't really remember when I first joined. I'm just happy to remember my login name.

Anyway, I've only been blogging on here for 2.5months. When I was on before, I hung out around the advice line. It was a hoot. Sorta like it is here, only shorter posts. Like the Cliffs Notes version maybe. Some great people, some trolls. Some great conversations, some...well lets just leave it as not so great. And as I'm sure happens here as well, people came and went. Some would drop back in, some you never heard from again.

I notice at times, there is some friction among bloggers. That's another thing that seems the same as the advice line. LOL I try to just stay out of those, as well as the political posts. Pretty sure, there is no winner in any of the blog battles. No way you'll ever get agreement on anything political, here or in the world. But I do believe in everyone's right to post what they want. Hell, even the dick pics

But over all, I have found the blogs to be populated with some great people. Lot's of bloggers that I've come to enjoy interacting with. Funny, witty, deep, informative. Hell, what's not to like.

Anyways, wanted to take a moment and thank all of you for some really fun conversations. For listening to me ramble around at times. For giving me new information to discern, and at times, making me rethink some of my perceptions and thoughts.

Have also wondered how long some of you have been blogging. And what made you start. I was just going to use it as a place to post some songs, I've written. But with the writers block, I haven't posted one in a while. LOL.
44 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Well, generally speaking...... (42)author51
Nov 14, 2018 1:26 am
It's National Gumbo Day? (49)FMAOPLS
Nov 13, 2018 10:51 pm
Of Human Bondage (46)FMAOPLS
Nov 13, 2018 10:46 pm
A Creature of Habit (44)FMAOPLS
Nov 13, 2018 10:35 pm
HNW-Fall in South Texas (39)FMAOPLS
Nov 13, 2018 10:30 pm
Come here often? (45)FMAOPLS
Nov 13, 2018 10:28 pm
Are you blushing? (35)author51
Nov 13, 2018 12:25 am
Just a Funny thought I had on Profiles. (73)Rede4mor519
Nov 12, 2018 6:39 pm
Somewhere in My Mind (20)phillsratg
Nov 8, 2018 9:06 pm
Begininning again (16)phillsratg
Nov 8, 2018 9:04 pm
#47- Early Childhood Memory's (25)author51
Nov 8, 2018 12:25 am